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Hakomi - Mindfulness-based Somatic Psychotherapy
Image: Bob Brewer
Hakomi can be a stunning modality. It can support connection with our authenticity, essential self and vitality, and allow our inner landscape to be a far kinder place to live. I view it as a movement towards wholeness, in a way which allows for greater connection to the whole of our world.
How we do this - the attitude
Hakomi is founded on a deep belief that beings holding an innate wisdom, vitality and natural organic impulses towards healing. This energy runs within all of us (and all of life). At the same time we all hold learned patterns and ways of organising ourselves which can redirect that energy, or even dam it up.
Our task in the Hakomi process is to become very curious about how our inner world is organised. We come into a compassionate relationship with that organisation. Not pushing anything to change or be different, but meeting ourselves where we are at; understanding the reasons; bringing loving presence; and exploring what is needed.
We move slowly, there is often a kind humour (‘oh I did it again’), and we bring an experimental attitude (‘I wonder what’s possible’, rather than ‘let’s change this’).
We have a range of practices which help us in this exploration. Until I write my own little summary, you can read about these here.
Viewing Hakomi
as a threshold invitation.
Image: Ani Adigyozalyan
A threshold-invitation
Hakomi is about noticing how things are, not about having an agenda for people to change. However, it is true that change occurs naturally when we shift into a more natural flow state.
Change is the natural state of all life.
Hakomi is often described as a ‘gentle and powerful’ psychotherapy approach. It is powerful in its capacity to support great depths of self knowledge and connection, as well as its capacity to support profound transformation.
Transformation does not come by force or effort, but by creating the conditions in which one’s natural impulse can unfold and vital life force can flow more freely. This is pretty exciting… and also I encourage people to consider if this is what they are seeking right now. Transformation is not appealing for all people, at all times in their life. I offer some reflections here to help you consider this.
The role of mindfulness
It is worth highlighting that Hakomi is a mindfulness-based modality. This is distinct from many talk-based therapies. We aim to gently shift state to a position of present moment observation - Rather than talk about that time we felt awkward, we drop into how awkwardness lives in the body right now.
Mindfulness is also moving slowly, and following what is arising moment by moment. This allows us to noticing so much more of your experience than in every day awareness. So much more to listen to and learn from. This deep listening creates a great intimacy with your own inner world and can feel very special.
This moment to moment awareness sometimes means we ‘interrupt’ the story, with the next present moment (“oh as I began to tell you that, something shifted in my shoulders”… “ok, let’s get curious about your shoulders”).
This can be an adjustment for people. It’s ok if mindfulness is new for you. My role as the therapist is to guide the process and also support you growing your mindfulness capacity. Therefore, I always encourage people to reflect before beginning if mindfulness is truly of interest. It is frustrating to have attention brought back to the present moment and to the body if that’s not really what you’re up for. We can chat about that in your 15min zoom call, and/or you can have a session to check it all out, to see if Hakomi is for you.
Mindfulness and courage
We often speak of the gentleness of mindfulness, but it also takes great courage to be with some of what is real within us.
Like in a dream (a different form of self study and altered state) we are shown both what we know/accept, and also what feels more like wounding and shadow. It can take courage to sit-with and observe shame, fear and pain.
Hakomi includes building resources, resilience, courage and humility so that we can maintain mindfulness in these landscapes.
Compassion for ourselves and others is another important skill. This includes both the more common association of tender compassion, as well as sometimes-needed fierce compassion.
These skills are invaluable for everyday life, healthy relationships and a supporting a sense of wholeness.
The role of the body in somatic psychotherapy: Section coming soon
Healing through Being rather than Doing
We might also take time just hanging in moments of wholeness. I am particularly interested in this…. How savoring our essential-energy can ripple through us to bring healing and inspiration without “working on it”.
Jon Eisman’s Re-Creation of Self model is pretty exciting here, as well as links to the power of Awe.
Resources
I enthusiastically recommend this stunning and expansive short book aimed for clients and therapists orientating themselves to the values and feel of the method Grace Unfolding: Psychotherapy in the Spirit of Tao-Te Ching.
Check out the central website for Hakomi in Australia for upcoming workshops, training, resources and other practitioners and supervisors.
Somatic psychotherapy training
My training in Hakomi includes completion of the three-year Professional Training program at the Australian Hakomi Institute; One-year Hakomi Embodied Awareness Relationship Training H.E.A.R.T; Level one of Trauma to Dharma with Manuela Mischke-Reeds; and Character Training with Jules Morgaine; Core training with The Right Use of Power Institute which articulates the ethical grounding of the Hakomi method; Plus attendance and assisting at multiple Hakomi workshops over the last 6 years.
Let love go
Forget about “transcending” the body.
Love it instead.
Let go of the idea of “letting go”.
Instead, let love go deep into the tender places,
the parts that ache.
Inhale into your sadness.
Let your fear move deep within you.
Bow to your uncertainty.
There is an untouchable place in you
that fearlessly allows itself to be touched.
Here, even your unworthiness has worth.
And that old feeling that you are unlovable?
It is loveable here.
Presence is the container, never the contained.
There is so much room in you, friend. So much room.
The Unknown embraces all that is known.
In the certainty of yourself,
even uncertainty can be held like a newborn.
There is nothing wrong with you,
including the idea
that there is something wrong with you.
So stop trying to love yourself;
simply be the Self that loves.
-Jeff Foster (Poems to save your life: You were never broken, 2020)
